28 Months (part two)

That is an image of Monica Furlong, not Quinn, but I wanted to remember this woman for the impact that she recently had in my life. I just finished reading a book that she wrote called, "Wise Child". It immediately connected with my soul and it's a book that I am holding aside for Quinn. It'll be perfect for those tween years when life feels so unsure and trying to understand your place in this world seems like a monumental chore. I have complete faith in my children and their abilities but I am constantly on the lookout for beautiful messages that might reach their lovely ears.

The story of "Wise Child" focuses on the growth of a young girl at a transitional period of her life. Raised during the dark ages in Britain, Wise Child suddenly finds herself orphaned when her grandmother dies and both her mother and father are off exploring the world beyond their little province. The only person who has the means to take her in is Juniper, a strange woman who has many mystical qualities about her. At first Wise Child is frightened because all of the children think that Juniper is a witch and that life with her will be terrible, but she soon discovers that there is no one in town who is more welcoming and generous. Wise Child's life until that point had been deeply steeped in a devout interpretation of Christianity, administered by the local priest, a hateful man named Fillan. In that world there was no need for a girl to be educated beyond homemaking designs and only those with Jesus in their heart should be acceptable companions. Juniper's world is an entirely new perspective for Wise Child. She begins to learn about nature and her intimate connection to it. She discovers the lore of herbal culture and the benefit of working diligently to bolster the environment around her, which in turn helps them live more comfortably than most of the others in town. She also is educated on all of the arts of human understanding, just so that she may become a more fully realized individual.

For her entire life, Monica Furlong fought against the gender prejudice inherent within the Church. She was deeply spiritual and had an open seeking heart, but her foundation was rooted within Christianity. She sought to transform the culture of the Church Of England so that women were connected to a more equitable environment within those hallowed walls. She was a Christian Feminist and her understanding of religions and the way that they functioned was always grounded with a human touch.

Growing up within the Christian culture myself, I often had misgivings and was extremely confused by the inequity existing all around us that didn't jive with the message of universal love that stemmed from the teachings of Jesus. This book was a revelation for me because it showed that the true heart of the divine exists all around us, that it doesn't have to be constrained by any book or theology or culture. It is a natural breathing reality that we witness every day. Juniper understood that so much more than any of the so-called "Christians" in the book and it is this message that she tries to impart on Wise Child so that she may develop and help the world grow to become more in tune with that divine spirit.

There is a constant struggle within our culture about empowerment. We are forever being told that we have the capabilities to be the most dynamic and self-realized people then, in the same breath, we are reminded how limited those capabilities can be. Nowhere is this more obvious than in the lives of women. We have advanced so dramatically over the last hundred years, since women first were empowered with the vote, yet almost every message conveyed is one of subservience, of succumbing to the male gaze, of retaining an unequal role in life. Though it's true that more and more women are overcoming this debilitating burden, the dominating story that remains is one of enormous struggle and conflict to simply obtain a basic human right.

Monica Furlong didn't succumb to the pressure of a dominant persistent belief. Instead she continued to try and alter that belief for her entire life, even completing a third novel shortly before she died that continued to delve into Juniper's and Wise Child's world. Ms. Furlong is the type of role model that I want Quinn to admire and aspire to be. Not a model nor a film star nor a rock god nor a celebrity of any kind that will demand that she conform to an idealized version of beauty. Not a CEO nor a politician who doesn't believe that women should have ever gotten the right to vote or even serve in office alongside men. I want her to truly be empowered and to believe in the strength of every human being, to fight against injustice no matter where it may rear its ugly head. I want her to be a feminist.

Here's a picture of my little feminist.

diaideologue

Spent a few minutes tonight speaking with the Christian Mythologists on my front porch. While Lucas immediately wanted to chase them off with a stick, the two fellows who approached my door seemed like pleasant gentlemen so I engaged in conversation with them. One was a young man in his late teens, who attempted to shove a booklet into my hands, and the other was a man in his late twenties, who clutched a bible close to his chest.

Now, I really do not like it when people approach me and say, "Here, take this." My first response is, "What the hell is it?" When I found out that it was propaganda of some various Christian sort I quickly declined, not wishing to add to the landfill and told them that I was Buddhist. Most of the time that sends them on their way but not this fine evening. They pressed the issue and I finally had to inform them of my exodus from the Christian life. They were a little shocked, which always happens, but then I suddenly found myself explaining the various reasons I don't believe in the biblical authoritarian view of God. I told them that I my version of God related more to the incredible vastness of the Universe and that instead of focusing on what happens when we die, what I find that is most important in life is how human beings relate to one another right now, during our present condition.

They continued to ask me many questions and as I was a little nervous, I probably wasn't making complete sense and was keeping things as abstract as possible, not dropping any Buddhist terms on them or anything. I wanted this dialogue to come from the perspective of our human similarities, something we could all understand. But the most important thing I needed them to comprehend was that the bible was not the ultimate truth for me and in actuality, I have some extreme issues with how it was edited and compiled and presented by people just like them.

Now, the two young gentlemen were very responsive and engaging with regard to what I had to say. They asked questions and said to me that they were impressed with how involved I was with understanding the philosophy of life in the best way possible, which I thought was very respectful to me as a human being. But out in the parkway, was an older man who was listening intently to the conversation. When it appeared the two younger gentlemen had accepted my explanations, at least to the point where they were about to leave, this other person spoke up.

The first thing he said to me was, "Can I give you this?" He was holding forth more propaganda. Once again I had to request that he inform me of its nature before I took it (apparently he wasn't listening when I declined their pamphlet earlier). He told me that it was the New Testament. Well, I already have one of those on the bookshelf in my living room so why would I need to take his, to save space in the landfill and all. They were all a bit surprised by this but then this older man proceeded to tell me the story of his connection with the bible. It was all very honest and sincere, but as he spoke about and quoted from this good book, I realized that he was using all of the same terms that I already refuted to his friends. I was stupefied so I explained to him what I had already told the other two guys, thinking that perhaps he wasn't listening earlier. Well, when he began again, he simply started right where he left off. The main thing that he was doing was referring to God as "He" or "His". This really irked me because the very first thing that I said to all of them was that I didn't like the biblical version of God; a man, out there somewhere, watching over us. Then, here was this guy speaking about God in those terms. What the hell?

Finally, I couldn't let the man blather on anymore so I asked him, "Why does God have to me a man?" Silence. He didn't know what to do. Finally he spoke and stumbled across this answer, "Because it says so in the bible."

Are you kidding me? That's it? This guy was too much and it suddenly became apparent to me that he was the leader of the trio, that he was simply there to observe the younger gentlemen as they proselytized then step in when they faltered. Well, I guess they picked the wrong house because if that's all that you got, "Because the bible tells me so", then you are pathetic. At least the first two guys engaged in real dialogue with me, they kept trying to bring it back around to their point of view, but they were actively involved in the conversation. At least they weren't robo-christian 3000, "MUST CONVERT HUMAN. BEFORE HE BURNS IN HELL. BIBLE IS GOD'S WORD." Jesus, man, if you want to have any effect on people you have to see them as human beings first, then you can worry about whether or not they should be converted.

And that's the real truth of it all in the end. Not everyone is going to connect to whatever religion or philosophy on life that is presented to them but there are a multitude of paths that can take us to where we want to go; enlightenment or heaven, ultimately happiness. The purpose of any religion is to help human beings find that place. I know that some people out there can discover the beauty of that notion using the bible and the Christian Mythology. That's great, by all means eat it up if that's what fulfills you, but when your philosophy takes you to a place where you only look at a person as a convert to your religion and not as a human being standing before you or help you communicate with that person strictly on a human level, then your philosophy has failed to serve its designed purpose.

We are all the same in a fundamental way. No matter what our life condition may be at this very moment, we all have the same unlimited potential as human beings. We can all strive, from this moment forth, to reach that heavenly ideal that exists in every religion. In Buddhism, it is a profound happiness that we call enlightenment. In order for religions to have the power to change the world in a truly positive way, this idea of perceiving every person with this amazing sense of equality must be at the center of the philosophy.

It felt extremely rewarding to speak to these people tonight, even though it was frustrating at times and I'm sure the leader of this troupe was probably just as irritated with me. Yet, I affected his life dramatically. I asked him a question that he couldn't answer with his limited perspective. I don't know, maybe that will open him up to the diverse world around him. I also believe that I connected with the two younger gentlemen who initially approached my home because as they bid me good night, the teenager gave me a quick, knowing smirk.

Define God

"God is a metaphor for a mystery that absolutely transcends all human categories of thought."

--Joseph Campbell

Why Spend Money on Something and You Won't Even Read the Manual

Religion takes spirituality, puts it in a crate, stamps it with a label, shoves it under the stairs and forgets about everything that made it powerful in the first place.

Writing Project Numero Uno

Topic: Falling

I'm twelve years old and after years of sitting back and watching others stand forth, heads bowed before God, I finally decide that I am ready. I'm going to take the plunge and let Jesus come into my life. Up until this point he's only spoken to me through an intermediary like the pastor whose voice now resonates in the vastness of my church. His tone reflects how important this moment is for me, and the others like me who want to get acquainted with the Son of the Lord, but he must be speaking in tongues because his words never register in my mind. Tears begin to fall down my face and sobs wrench through my body as I release a lifetime of confusion, fear and apprehension. I feel unknown hands upon my shoulders offering support. This will be a defining moment in my life, I just know it. As the light opens up within me I suddenly realize, with extreme clarity, that I have no idea who I am.

Many years have passed since then and every day I become more aware, I learn and understand this life a little better. With each day the memory of that day in church slowly fades into the shadows of the past. I remember thinking on that day that my life would now be different, I was now on the path to redemption. I spent my entire childhood in that church and it was always supposed to provide clarity and ultimately help me lead a happy, fulfilling life (and so much more of course). But the choices we make in life always have deeper meaning than what initially appears on the surface and sometimes the reasons we step forward aren't the ones that caused us to get out of our seat in the first place.

In the years following my courageous leap of faith I fumbled through a succession of choices that found me in a tumultuous fall from grace, which left me in the throes of Hell. I took drugs, became a sexual deviant, stole from my employers, lied to everyone, you name it and I got away with all of it. The entire time I grew more and more miserable. I was constantly depressed and fatalistic. I didn't care whether I lived or died and I soon realized that I was on a path that would lead to my demise one way or another.

During this time I stopped going to church. I realized that even though I'd followed it my whole life I never actually believed anything that Christianity taught me. I was an agnostic. Then, shortly after I recognized my fatalistic tendencies, I found Buddhism. I immediately began to find reason and understanding through this new philosophy. I became aware of how my life was intimately connected to everything in the universe. The stars, the air we breath, each human, the entire ecosystem of the planet is aware of this interconnectedness. The turmoil in my life began to dissipate and I opened up to a world of peace based on courage, wisdom and compassion. I started to understand what it means to be truly happy.

Now, decades later, I realize that this was the quality of awareness that I was searching for so long ago when I didn't sit down that day. I was looking for how I was connected to this life but couldn't find the answer in God because He had never found His way inside me, even after a heartfelt plea of faith. I know now that the answers I sought were always right there for me to see. I just needed to open my life in the correct way. I know that for some people they find those answers in the Christian community and have discovered the beauty of life using their faith. I continue to be skeptical, although I have learned more about Jesus' wisdom as a Buddhist rather than as a Christian.

I now know the reason my tears flowed heavily out of me that day. Deep inside of me I knew that instead of allowing Jesus to enter my life I was actually turning my back on Him and I was scared to death. I stood forth that day hoping to find the meaning in God, but my search for the divine needed to follow a different path.

The Vatican has struck again. Throughout history they have continued to undermine many technological advancements, completely disregarding humanity in the process. Remember Galileo was considered a blasphemous heretic, and I am sincerely waiting for the day when the Pope suggests bloodletting to solve the AIDS epidemic.

Why do so many of those with great power do everything in their power to retard life on this planet? Philosophy and theology exist so that humanity (and dogs) can improve the quality of their life. When irresponsible guidance of this nature is passed down by theologians, it is in the best interest of every form of life to not only reject that guidance but to also question the remaining tenets of said religion. With that I give a shout out to all the believers of the Katholic faith.

OPEN YOUR FUCKING EYES!!!

As well as your hearts and minds for chrissakes!