Saturday, January 29, 2005

Four Months

I must admit that there are times when he doesn’t allow me to do anything but pay attention to him. I’m not talking about the moments where I take an hour and simply talk to him, make faces, read, play the guitar, amuse or do whatever I possibly can to share that time with him. Those moments are wonderful, such a delight to watch his face light up and his little mouth try to form words. But there are other times when I’m trying to do something necessary; write, clean the house, do laundry, make dinner, any of the small activities that you either are required to do or merely wish to do to give yourself some amount of joy in your life. And that’s when he decides that what you are doing just isn’t acceptable. You must pay attention to him and it doesn’t matter if the chicken shrivels up to resemble a cockroach Goddamnit, pay attention to me! He doesn’t always cry when he does this. He has a screech or just yells at you or growls like a lion, and sometimes he does cry. It doesn’t matter how he expresses it, what he is saying is that the only acceptable place for him is in your arms.

He’s reached the age where he is now capable of amusing himself. He’s investigating. He’s grabbing things on his own and putting them in his mouth or throwing them across the room (well at least to the floor at his feet). He tells himself stories in a forgotten language. So it isn’t that he absolutely needs me to pay attention to him twenty-four-seven anymore. He’s begun his journey away from us and the day will come where he doesn’t need us anymore at all. When I realize all this I begin to have perspective. He’s only going to be four months at one time in his life. Right now! I want to cherish it, even the moments where I’m screaming inside for him to just give me five more minutes. Because the day will come when I miss it, when I think to myself, ‘Why don’t you growl at me anymore?’

Just a final note. His eyes shimmer and glow like finely polished bronze and he’s still the most beautiful baby in the world. (Oh no, the dreaded parental adoration that plagues all parent’s writing! Yes, it’s true. I love him)

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Saturday, January 22, 2005

I didn't catch much of the inaugural party in the freezing cold the other day, but I did happen to hear the grand entrance of chief supreme wizard Rehnquist on the radio. I tried to listen to the somber commentary of the reporters on KPBS about his failing health and his noble attempt to make an appearance, but as soon as they mentioned the glorious golden robes he was wearing, which he instituted as dress code for chief justice, I had to turn it off just so I wouldn't laugh myself off the road.

Just who do these freakin people people think they are?

A note to grand supreme being Rehnquist: You are not a genius. It is not your responsibility to do whatever you can so that you are remembered fondly by the masses. You serve them. With humility. That means without pride, without arrogance. You do not have power because of who you are. You only have power because we allow it. Now just die already so that we can forget all about you.

Unfortunately there were thousands of people at the inauguration more worthy of mention than this schmuck. But I guess sound technician, lighting assistant, peace officer, valet, and all the people behind the scenes who helped set up the entire fiasco just aren't glamorous enough to bother with. I hope that we start celebrating the people who deserve it in this godforsaken country before we are all sorry. I think the first step is to do whatever we can to peel our eyes away from these people who, though they hold the high offices of the land, really do not have much effect on our life. What truly matters is the people around us with whom we share our every day lives. Our neighbors, co-workers, grocers, family, friends, the video store clerk, all the people we come face to face with on a daily basis.

The more that people come to recognize this reality, the sooner THEY lose control over all of us.


Thursday, January 20, 2005

Something interesting I learned in Physics class recently

Ever since Newton saw the apple fall and developed his theory of gravitation, we have come to know that there are physical laws of nature that encompass all aspects of the universe. This mode of thought is what we commonly refer to as Physics. Since then the community of Physics has developed increasingly complex and divine theories regarding the nature of life itself, but with one simple flaw. We have yet to find a universal theory to describe everything.

Our universe is made up of four dimensions; three in our physical space and time being the other. These are the dimensions that we know for certain exist. If we look at the universe we’ve come to understand two very complex and radical opposites. We know that the heavens are filled with stars and solar systems and galaxies so vast that we haven’t yet determined how wide this macrocosm really is. We also know that on the microcosmic level everything that exists is made up of tiny particles known as atoms and that these atoms are filled with an even smaller nucleus known as protons and neutrons with orbiting electrons. The physics community has even determined that within each proton and neutron exists even smaller particles called point particles that are continuously active. And this is where the confusion begins.

One of the basic ideas of physics is that all things are related. So we understand that everything on the macrocosmic level is made up of the microcosm. This means that because they basically exist in the same realm then they must share a common physical law, but the dilemma lies in what we know about these two very different worlds. On the microcosmic level of life we find a very active and frantic universe, yet on the macrocosmic level everything is smooth and gentle. Each of these different worlds are being controlled by certain forces that govern their shape. On the macrocosm we feel the force of gravity described by Newton and later made clearer by Einstein. This force is powerful enough to control the planets yet pales in comparison to the forces which control the microcosm. Inside the nucleus of each atom we find three very powerful forces; electro-magnetic, strong nucleus and weak nucleus. These forces create the highly active environment of the microcosm. Physicists have not yet to found a correlating theorem that connects these three forces with the larger and calmer force of gravity. Once this occurs we will come one step closer to understanding the universe.

Which brings us to String Theory. This is the latest theory that has arisen in the field of physics. It is a theory that calculates out mathematically, yet may never be proven since it is impossible to verify through observation. String theory basically states that within each point particle that exists within the protons and neutrons of atoms, there exists a tiny string of energy that is constantly vibrating. So even though it is constantly vibrating, it can have the appearance of being very flat or smooth. It also appears through calculation that in order for these strings of energy to exist they must exist within new dimensions, which we previously didn’t know existed. These new dimensions are so tiny that they also exist within each point particle on the same level as the strings, and they are constructed in such a way that the strings exist within each dimension simultaneously. The gravity of each dimension pulls on the string causing the very vibrations that give it energy, therefore giving shape to the energy that the string produces. Imagine the string of a guitar. When held a certain way the vibration is capable of producing a vast array of melodies and sounds. Each shape or vibration that these strings convey is responsible for the shape of everything we see and feel. What this means is that even though we cannot see these alternate dimensions they are actually the very cause of everything that exists within the dimensions that we can see.

There are many thoughts on this subject and I am simply trying to reveal my analysis as I saw it. We may never know through traditional observation whether any of this is true, but it is the closest explanation of the universe that we have. In fact, it is the only theory that connects the macrocosm and microcosm scientifically, distinctly and logically. All others have either failed or simply fall into the realm of philosophy.