Monday, February 18, 2008


We celebrated Valentine's Day once again and all of us who cherish another intimately felt the need to celebrate our love in some kind of special way. I made a play-list for Xtina and wrote her a beautiful letter reminding her just how wonderful she is to us. She woke to a musical charm poem and it brightened her day.

All day long I thought about the way that Valentine's Day has affected me throughout the years. Romance and beauty. Delight and Joy. Amor et vie. We all want to be cherished by another in our lives and this day of all days reminds us of this fundamental need.

I remember being in the first grade and sharing valentines with the entire class. That was my first introduction to the heart of this holiday. I bought valentines from Thrifty and prepared to pass them on to my fellow classmates. It was an interesting assignment because it didn't take long for me to designate certain valentines to certain people based on who they were in my life. A good friend would get one that I thought was cool. A girl I thought was pretty would get the most romantic one. Others who I didn't like ended up with the left-overs. I was evaluating the worth of those around me with these valentines. Perhaps, there were some who understood the subtle message I was sending with my choices and I'm sure there were others who couldn't care less, but I recall that this appropriation of valentines was extremely important to me. I knew that the message I sent out to these people, no matter how small it may seem, was so crucial.

Today, as I now evaluate my relationship with the person that I love, I recognize that those subtle messages are still so important. I've always felt that somewhere down in my soul I was connected to a deep romanticism, that I could communicate with the stars and someone out there would understand what I was trying to say. I never knew if this was going to be true but I always wished it were. I always wanted to believe that there was truth and that love was real.

When I met Xtina, I knew immediately that this desire I've felt my entire life could be expressed honestly and hopefully. We share the same channel and so often with our relationship we completely understand each other. Oh, to share a life with someone that you can cherish so closely is utter joy. It is the dream that I always had, the yearning of that small boy to be heard.

Happy Valentine's Day my sweet. You are my voice, the one that I hear with my ears.



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