Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Nineteen Months

Lucas practically picked up all of his blocks tonight. Well, first he was throwing them at me, which obviously didn't feel very good. So I told him that instead of throwing them at me we could throw them across the living room. So the two of us proceeded to send them flying to all corners of the room (well that was mostly me, but he was feeding me the ammo like we were locked down in a bunker under heavy fire). Afterward he decided to go around collecting them and started throwing them at me again. Apparently my original plan of distraction only proved to encourage the little guy so I had to think up another.

"Let's put all the blocks away", I said in my most endearing voice and without a pause he went around the room scooping up blocks and tossed them right in their box.

There have been many moments lately when Xtina and I just look at each other and simply enjoy our fortune. Lucas is one amazing kid! He whines when he's tired and hungry or when his butt is eaten raw from lethal poo, but beyond that he simply exclaims how joyful it is to be alive (with a big smile on his face of course). Sometimes he eats rocks and dog food while refusing the delicacies that we provide for him, but his belly still pooches out and he's still growing as normally as possible considering that he has two huge procrastinators who are addicted to beer and netflix for parents. That's about the biggest complaint I have so far.

Oh, he still isn't potty trained, but we can barely say that about ourselves considering the state of our bathroom at the moment.

I still have moments where I find it hard to comprehend that I have a son, living and breathing and hugging and talking. It seems very surreal during these moments. I don't feel regret anymore, at a loss of youth or anything like that because even if we didn't have him here with us we'd still be moving forward at the same pace, getting older one precious day at a time. When I think about the reality of it all I feel a genuine sense of appreciation for what I have. I am fortunate. I've had so much fortune in my life it's almost unbelievable, but right now I feel like the most fortunate person that has ever existed (and since I only have one perspective here I suppose that it's true, just as it is for everyone else who is alive and having a positive self-perpetuating fantasy like I'm having). Anyway, the reason I feel this way is due to the fact that I really enjoy being part of this family. The most precious images that come to me each day are the ones of either Xtina or Lucas or the two of them together. I cherish them the most in this life.

He's damn cute too! Which we always say to him, so I hope his ego can handle it. Seems to be okay so far. We were at the Artwalk in downtown San Diego this weekend and a woman came up to me and told me that she thought Lucas was the greatest work of art of the entire affair. I had to agree with her and some of the art was pretty damn good. He marched around two full days, weaving in and out of foot-traffic and taking charge. He's already growing into a little independent monster boldly taking action with confidence (obviously got that from his mother). He even tried to eat a bunch of goldfish that he found on the sidewalk nearby. Xtina and I jumped about like two orangutans stomping the fish while Lucas dodged and darted between our feet desperately trying to grasp the prize before it was extinguished back into orange dust. I can just imagine those looking on, witnessing this display of lunacy without ever realizing that they were being given a window into the inner workings of the perfect family.

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Blogger xtina said...

oh luv, so funny. your celebration of 19! months! brought a gargantuan smile & a giggle/chuckle to this gray morning. thank you for your words.

10:05 AM  

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