Thursday, July 28, 2011

42 Months (dos)

"I love all the songs in the world!"

This is what Quinn tells me as we drive, while listening to Elliott Smith. I totally believe her. If anyone was capable of loving every song in the world, it would be Quinn. She has such enthusiasm for life that if she really wanted to embrace something as big as the concept of music across all genres and regions and forms and styles and agendas, then she has the energy and imagination to pull it off.

What a humongous heart she has! She often looks at the world through the rosy-tinted frames of love and beauty. When something touches her heart, she unabashedly exclaims how beautiful it makes her feel. When something is colorful or creative or gentle, then they are beautiful. When a song reaches her ears and caresses her little soul then she loves to tell me how beautiful that song is to her.

I love this so much, of course, because I'm constantly digging music in every possible way so that I can gleen some nourishment from the dancing dreams that float on the winds with the songbirds. I search for beauty in music and I search for drama and pleasure. I search for angst and anguish and yearning. I search for all of these things in songs because they are a special part of who I am and music can help me understand that aspect of my nature.

I think that Quinn just gets that. I think that she has a natural awareness that is so unique and honest that I often am simply amazed by the power of her expression. It's beautiful for me, as a parent, to see such hope flowing out of the eyes of my child. She has a wonderful hopeful belief in the world as a place of beauty and she wants to embrace it. When Quinn taps into that aspect of her nature then I am so profoundly proud and hopeful, as well. She may truly grow into a person who has the ability to settle into the center of the earth, where she is intricately aware of her connection to all things.

It's not easy to discover this special place. We are all searching for it in a way, a true understanding of our place in this life, this precious existence that we've come to know. The root of all spiritual journey comes back to discovering this amazing perspective where we are able to find a true expression of happiness that is not influenced by all of the distractions that occur around us, that occur within us. A place where we are immune to the waves that crash over our head, submerged within the peaceful blessing of life.

Then again, Quinn is just like any other kid in so many ways. She wants people to listen to her as if she were just as important as anyone else attempting to express the way that they feel. She desires the tempting displays of our culture, so much so that sometimes she'll fight for them. She gets frustrated and cries and struggles and wants to give up. She sulks like a little kid when she doesn't get what she wants.

But then she is a little kid! She's not even four-years-old yet. Sometimes it's so easy to forget that when you simply want some peace of mind at the end of the day. So she's not a perfect little angel in any sense of the word but there's something that I try to remember when it comes to the struggles that we have with certain aspects of our children that tend to drive us crazy. Everything about them (and us) can be nourished and turned into a powerful positive experience in this life.

And during those times when they claim to love every song in the world? Well, that's when we are getting an intimate glimpse into the amazing human potential that our children (and us) possess. Quinn, with her shimmering eyes so full of hope and delight, lets us in on so many secrets that reveal all of the inherent beauty of this earth and I am truly grateful that she has become a part of my life.

These are her songs, for the most part. I added a couple that remind me of her.

01. Margot & the Nuclear So and So's - Paper Kitten Nightmare
02. Luna - Moon Palace
03. First Aid Kit - Hard Believer
04. Gang Gang Dance - Sacer
05. Bonobo - Animals
06. Elliott Smith - Waltz #2
07. Jens Lekman - Your Arms Around Me
08. Glasser - Apply
09. Micah P. Hinson - Diggin A Grave
10. Rogue Wave - Catform
11. Josh Rouse - Sweetie
12. Lia Ices - Grown Unknown
13. Caroline - Pink Gloom
14. Emiliana Torrini - Bleeder

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