40 Months (2)

"I'm a woman, too!"

Quinn says enthusiastically.

This comes from a story Christina tells me about taking Quinn to a Buddhist meeting for women. While listening to other women talk about their perspective of life, Quinn somehow made the connection that she was exactly like the rest of them and she decided to include herself in the discussion. To say that I wasn't surprised by her reaction is putting it mildly. This image of her is one that we see each and every day.

Quinn loves to be included with any situation and she will interject herself into the scene with confidence and understanding. She is remarkably aware of what people are talking about, even when it comes to an incredibly deep subject matter. Just her desire to understand is enough to make her presence known and at three-and-a-half, she is very smart and witty when it comes to expressing herself.

One aspect of life where she always identifies is her intimate connection to her gender. She is a girl and she won't hesitate to let you know all about it. Whether it's due to her color preference (pink) or what she finds beautiful in the natural world around her (the pretty flowers) or choosing a role model from our wonderful pop culture (Princess Leia), she doesn't want to just be one of the guys. Most of the other children who revolve around her world are boys but when she gets a chance to play with another girl, her excitement knows no bounds. It's very endearing to watch as she connects to her feminine spirit but it is something that also concerns me.

I think it is extremely important for Quinn to truly connect to the divine feminine reality of her life. To truly connect to your natural human experience is a powerful goal that all people should aspire toward in their lives. For my daughter, I can only hope and pray that we are able to help her find the correct path that leads her to a strong and healthy existence. I know how difficult it is for women to contend with all of the trappings of our culture and the perspective of beauty can quickly become twisted and fucking overwhelming. Despite that horrible reality I have great faith that Quinn has the power and passion to fight for what she believes in, as she does it on a daily basis right here in our home. Yet it is extremely important that we discover a way to help guide her so that she may have the wisdom to cut through all of the seductive bullshit that distorts our daily experience. She's going to be an intelligent little fiery furnace but she also is easily persuaded the moment her heart blooms at the first sign of the cutest little wonders of the world.

If you don't believe me, just come on over to our house with a kitten and watch her melt before your eyes.

She's still very young and can quickly break down if things aren't going exactly her way. She has a very sensitive heart, an affliction both of our children have but one that also allows them to be magnificent and beautiful creatures more often than not, so I can see her struggling when difficulties may arise. As a young woman in our society, there are going to be people who try to take advantage of her sensitive nature, who are going to try to steal her beauty from her. I know that it may seem too early to worry such things but we have to think about this stuff now because all of the devices that will trip her up ten to fifteen years from now are already in her environment. The forces of evil are already trying to persuade her to give up her power so that they may use her for their nefarious plots. Perhaps I'm a bit paranoid and sound like an over-protective father but it has nothing to do with control, except in the sense that I only wish for her to be in control of her own experience. The only way I know to provide some guidance in that direction is to work every day harder than the day before because one day she will no longer turn her ear in my direction as acutely as she does now and this crucial message may not have the force it does today.

But there's more ways to help her learn than bombarding her with words. I've expressed before my great desire for Quinn to grow up a feminist, to believe her relationship to the rest of the people around her to be one based on equality regardless of gender. I continue to bring it up because it is something that I am constantly struggling with as a man who sometimes gets trapped by those tempting snares our society displays on a continuous basis. If I am going to have any success with my attempts to raise my wonderful daughter in the best way possible, I am going to have to change the prejudice that flows through my blood. I am going to have to become an extraordinary human example of beauty that Quinn may admire. Maybe then she will be able to believe in her fellow human citizens even when life drops a few dark clouds of disorder over her head. Maybe then she will be able to raise her head to the sky and declare with all her heart that she is a woman who is stronger than any attempt of confusion that may come her way.