Monday, April 20, 2009

15 Months (part two)

Quinn is in the shy phase. For her that means that when first meeting someone she checks them out, then and when that person tries to get her attention she buries her face into the arms of one of her parents. She'll even do this with someone she knows, such as a grandparent, if she hasn't seen them in awhile. When this phase occurs in your child it's very adorable and a secret smile finds a way onto your lips. They're so aware now and are recalling memories, learning so fast about the world around them but it's almost as if she recognizes in these moments that she's supposed to remember these people but her brain just can't quite grasp it. She gets embarrassed by this and a little embarrassment in a fifteen month old is cute, after all.

I wonder at what point in our lives that our embarrassment seems to become a horrible burden. I know that now, at thirty-eight, it doesn't really bother me that much but there was definitely a period in my life when if I did something embarrassing, I would've prayed and hoped for a quick death. I guess Lucas is beginning to have more trouble with it when he deals with something difficult and can't quite understand certain feelings that are rushing through his growing body, and he's only four. I suppose that it's something each of us have to face on our own. Eventually our sense of self becomes our very own responsibility and not even our parents can help us with their protective shield. We come to face the naked light with either confidence or shame and either grow or shrink. Although I must admit that I find it extremely cute when Xtimu is embarrassed by something or other and the redness swells on her cheeks and the awkward smile reaches for her ears. But that doesn't happen very often with my sweet and confident comandante.

And it doesn't happen very often with Quinn either. Yes, she has much of her mother's personality and she's as confident as hell. When she's comfortable in her environment she smoothly navigates the air around her. The other day at the park (which she loves the park) Quinn was wandering around borrowing toys from everyone then she and Lucas began digging in the sand. Another child's parent came over and wanted to borrow a discarded toy that our kids had borrowed. The woman asked Lucas if she could use it and he just looked at her and wouldn't respond. The woman was in a rush so she turned to Quinn and asked her if it was okay if she borrowed it. Quinn gave her the biggest smile and said "Okay". The woman was laughing as she took the toy over to her son who was about Quinn's age. I don't know if Quinn actually said okay to the woman or if she was simply mimicking responses that she hears around her every day but that girl was completely at home, so she had no problem talking to a complete stranger with a big warm smile on her face.

The feeling that I have when I watch her is that this shy phase that she's going through won't last very long. She's going to collect friends with natural ease. She has a such a warm demeanor and an eager personality that reaches out for others. She wants to go out and experience the world and is disappointed when we don't take her everywhere. Just a week ago, she walked around the entire block, making everyone smile at her and attempting to pet every cat in the neighborhood. I finally had to lead her along home because I didn't want Xtimu to worry about us.

Quinn is a little dynamo and she keeps us on our toes. She doesn't make it feel cumbersome though, doesn't make us feel like we're never going to be able to keep up with her. She wants us to be there with her when she conquers the world. She wants to share it with everyone.

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