Tuesday, November 11, 2008

10 Months (the second)

Quinn is starting to communicate! She's not quite ready to talk to the boys yet, but she's starting to carry on interesting conversations with her brother. Experiencing these small developments are the best part of being a parent. She blossoms before your eyes. It's so hard to remember the tiny little amoeba that she was, but it was only a week ago that she couldn't form a comprehensible sound beyond "mama". It was only a month ago that she could barely crawl and now she pulls herself into a standing position with hardly a struggle.

At ten months, we've reached the dawn of child development. Everything that they do is such an amazing wonder that each and every day brings a new and special joy. Today is veteran's day and to honor those who give their lives to protect this country, we take the day off. I honestly appreciate the gesture and was lying in bed this morning long after everyone else had gotten up. Ahhh, it was pure bliss to be lounging around at 8:30 in the morning on a Tuesday. Then, I suddenly hear my lovely partner in life, Xtimu, crooning from the other room, "Daddy! Time to get up!" This was followed by my the voice of my beautiful boy mimicking her, "DADDY, GET UP DADDY!" And finally, I heard another voice floating down the hall into my humble bedroom, "Daru, Ravi, Awa!", something that sounded distinctly like the word "Daddy" but in ten-month-old speech. Everyone started laughing and encouraging our little Quinn to exclaim to the world all that was on her mind.

Her spirit is enormous. She gives you light with a smile and pulls you into the abyss with a shriek. She loves to cackle and offer you whatever she has. She needs your chest when she's tired and she's always tired when you just get started with dinner. She loves to stare out the front window at the world. She wants to participate in every activity where her brother is involved. She's one of the biggest blessings that I've ever received in this life and one of the most difficult responsibilities ever. She is loved and she loves wholeheartedly.

I'm so eager now that I truly appreciate being a parent. It's probably somewhat disappointing for Lucas. First off, because his was one of experiment. We didn't know what we were doing, guessing and learning as we went. And now because we're so free with Quinn, so enamored with her, I don't know if he feels left out or pinched at all. He doesn't show it. He's such a sweet boy and doesn't hold grudges or express anything close to regret or hate or jealousy. The worst thing that he does to her is want her to interact more, thus forcing her when she only wants to do something else. She's lucky to have him and I hope that their relationship continues to develop.

I hope that we all continue to appreciate each other. Our family is everything that I could ever have wished for in my dreams. I know that it's a cliche to say that but the amount of effort that we give to one another makes it happen. I always wondered what would happen if I had kids. Would I be close to them? Would I be able to talk to them? Would I be a good example? Would our combined lives be a wonderful experience? Now I can't imagine life without them. I know that no matter what happens as they grow and eventually move beyond our control that I will be connected to them no matter what. Both Xtimu and I are the most important people in the kidlets lives and that alone gives me great pause. Just realizing that it's up to me is such a beautiful awareness. Right now, at this moment, I have the ability and the means and the responsibility to help them grow into wonderful human beings.

That gives me hope. They give me hope. We've spread the wrong message for what type of future we want to create for far too long. Now it's up to me. I am making the future every time I kiss my child and tell her that I love her and that she is the most special little creature that I have ever come to know. And it's so easy to do, all it takes is deciding to do it.

Just imagine if we felt that way about everyone we met. If we were able to see them the way that we see our children. What kind of world would we have? What kind of communities? Families? Everywhere we look, everyone we see has the light of a child in their hearts. You don't lose something like that and I'm beginning to see that I still have it inside me as well.

It's the light of hope and it is absolutely infectious.

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